Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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