i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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