somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
