We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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