names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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