This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
