well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
