It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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