ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
