Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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