i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
