I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
