weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
