Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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