At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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