we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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