you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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