better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
