sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize