i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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