After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
