He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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