I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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