And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
