no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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