i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize