And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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