i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
