i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
