I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
