We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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