oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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