do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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