just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
worst night to have a conscience
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
