Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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