i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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