worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
