The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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