We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she peed on how many people?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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