need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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