she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
