I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
