My Higher Power is John Stamos
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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