I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
