So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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