rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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