So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize