4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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