Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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