Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
