So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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