I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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