I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its liver damage thursday
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
