Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
