So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize