so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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