His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
