...so i touched it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
