fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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