And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
