Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize