grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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