You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize