There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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