butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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