I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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