like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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