I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
