I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
