So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
