pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
