I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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