Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize