You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't turn off my feet"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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