Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
vagina is talking i cant
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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