And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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