we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
