We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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